Lord, I come to you tonight. Not only just a prayer yang ga jelas...but it's more than that. It's more than just a prayer Lord. It's not about my feelings. I read Your words in 2 Corinthians 9-10...I don't understand, Lord. Tuhan, where are You?? today's bible study emank uda kasih tau kalo God is omnipresence...You are everywhere...but..how come I can't feel You right now? Increasing in understanding?? How should I increase my understanding..Lord, I'm scared if I have to be in part d, just like on the paper that ko bin" passed on today...You are so much faithful Lord...I listen to Your songs everyday and night..but...what it is in my heart Lord..keep on telling me that I don't deserve all of these..that I lost everything..jujur God, aku ngantuq sekrang...tapi aku mau ttp focus ke Tuhan...cari Tuhan..Lord, what do You want me to learn from all these stuggles?? what's my problem right now actually??? Lord, give me the desire..burn my heart...teach me how to give thanks to You all the time for every single thing that You gave...Lord...it's not gonna be finished like...right now...my sould pleads for You...wait on You...I don't understand it..how do I know that I love what You do??? Lord...tell me....speak to me....I like the way You bring me to the group...I don't like my pride Lord..take it away...I know it's wrong in front of You...I just wanna obey You Lord..I just wanna keep longing for You Lord...I don't care about anything else...all I care is my relationship with You...LORD......I'm longing for YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! I;m longing for YOUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 Cor 10:12 = "We don't dare to classify or compare oursleves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves by themselves, they are not wise."

Am I comparing myself to a set of standards that I make unconsciously???? Losing me....You want what's best for me...Hold me now...I'm finally losing me.....Hold me now Lord...NEVER LET ME GO!! I just wanna lose myself...fling myself away recklessly into Your hands....

Lord, I need You...aku ga mau denger kata" yang ga jelas dari iblis Tuhan!! I;m not scared of them anymore...I may not have the feelings right now..but it's my faith Lord..it's the belief that I have in YOu Lord....search my heart!!!!! I NEED YOU!!! I CAN"T STAND A DAY WITHOUT YOU!! I need You...I want to know You..I wanna be where You are....

I give thanks Lord...for the beautiful day, beautiful friends, nice fellowship, good food and health, good tempat tinggal, nice family.....eveyrthing Lord......teach me to give thanks.....

Your daughter,
Ica