Yesterday's Mo was pathetic =_="...I was so scared with all the fightings they had just because of small little things that accidentally hapenned. Boys are so totally unbelievable. They get angry of some ridiculous things. Well, i'm minds bias here I know...But it's just soo....hehhh....

This fighting is not the first time for me. My cousin back there in Indonesia, he was also fighting with the other soccer member. And the result was terrible. He got so many injuries and he knees were all wet because of blood. The doctor said that it was because of the knife. So, yeah, maybe it's just trauma because of the past.

Anyway, now that I write this entry, it is 5:44 in the morning. I satyed up the whole night watching movies while I got school like in a few more hours. This is ridiculous. But I can't satnd it anymore. I feel...lonely...like everything is turning upside down inside my head. Today's preaching was so touchy and I know that the only way to be freed from all the slavery yoke is to ask God to set us free, to clean our sins. But to recall it to action is a real difficult thing to do. I just got so many things to do in my to-do list and I can't fund the right time to do it. I know it's such a lousy excuse but..I just don;t get it.

Oh My God....I;m so sorry...I know I make mistakes and all the yoke that is upon me, the yoke of afraid of rejection, yoke of guilt, yoke of religiosity, etc, take them all from me. Forgive me Lord, for taking Your salvation for granted. It's just so easy for me to get away from all Your teachings and Your love. I have no idea how big it is, You show me Lord, Show me Your greatness and Your unfailing love. I need it. Amen!!!

That's it for today. I'm just so tired.