Okay, this one's gonna be a long one...so any of you who want to read this, be patient! =)

I wanna share about God's greatness in my life. It's kinds embarassing to share this here, but I feel the urge to write this down so that everyone can see that our God is a God of second chance. I've been in a state of not wanting to do anything lately. I know that there's nothing I can do except to have an encounter with God face to face. I know I should do it, but I just didn't feel like I wanted. So, I delayed and I delayed. Since the past few weeks. One sunday morning, P. Admand preached that we had to let go of our oppresive sins. We need to be made free. He did an altar call, but no one went up to the front, so I stayed. I didn't even dare to look around, my heart was beating like crazy but I stayed. I decided to ignore it. SInce then on, I felt really far,,,I felt as if the relationship with God after all this time just disappeared. But then, last sunday, P. Chris preached the same thing, about "do you want to be made well?" He said we had to let go of our secret sins, of everything that hinder us from being close to God, from being made well by God. God has a big plan for us but we got to do our part. This time, I felt as if God is asking me one more time to come and repair everything. So, I lifted my hand and went up to the front.

The pastor prayed for me and, I did not expect this to happen, but he said he got a vision. He said "I see the door of prison has been opened. it's ur decision whether u wanna walk out of it or not. God is there to help you. He believes that you can do it. do not listen to the devil that says you can't let go of ur sin. God has forgiven you. you are no longer chained by the sins. there's no more condemnation in you. You will have a good husband who loves you no matter what ur past is. do not lower ur standard, even keep ur standard high." I didn't expect he would mention the "husband" thing. But yes, I had some fear that my future husband will love me just the way I am or not...but it's just too....surprising I guess..all the things he said, were exactly the same thing that's been going through in my mind since I came here to seattle. Wow...God is amazing, isn't He?! =)

just skip this part:

I'm just being reminded that I it's not about me. I feel lonely, yes, for now. But i know that there are people outhere, they are even lonelier. I read my friend's blog just now and how I have been touched by her sincerity. She gives thanks for having friends around her. She feels close when I don't. She gives thanks when I dont. She praises when I lament about my friends. Bad thing about me, I keep complaining about my friends. I complain theyre not close enough, they're not sincere enough, while the fact is that I also am like that! Haha...so, it's not about me. I was too focus about myself, that I forget God is supposed to be in the first place. Lately, my consciousness about God has been so overwhelming that every thing that I see, I relate it to God. I saw movies and when there's tragedy happen in the movie I unconsciously think "If God allows it to happen, then it serves one great purpose." or "that's because they don't have God, that's why they come to an end like this." etc etc...I don't know whther it;s good or bad..SOmetimes, I just think about my walk with God, every second, evry time...knowing that i'm not perfect enough...but still, I realized that i;m thinking about God. God has made Himself known and remembered all the time in my life. I take that as a good sign. =)

anyway, it's too late at night already. I need to go to school tomorrow morning, so....gud nite...God bless!!

Lord, let this blog, be something that serves Your purpose in my life. Not only just another blog...not a mere blog where I post my stories into it. I want it to be a blessing in my life and in other people's lives. I need You to really make a full use of this blog through me and my friends.

Bless my friends, Lord. Some may have inner problems, some may have physical problem, some may have financial problem. Give them the way out so that they may see Your greatness. Just like what You did in my life. Continue to work, Lord. I might be hard to shape and to mold, but I'm willing to. Search my heart so that any impurities be taken out in the name of Jesus! I don't wanna pretend. I don't wanna be fake. I need You to give me the desire to wanting to know You more. The desire to do my part. The love to love You wholeheartedly. Amen!!!!!! Bless my family back in INdonesia. Bless their ministry, bless their health, bless their financial flow, bless their personal lives, bless their needs and wants. AMen!!

Give me the right major Lord, give me the right university to apply. Amen!!