Deep and close relationship is what God wants in my life.

Yesterday, I went to a prayer meeting, as usual every Thursday, and I came with expectations. Well, it's a long story. I didn't want to go at first, but I feel in my heart, really strong that I really need to go. So, off I went.

It was great!

We were all praying for vision in 2007, for our relationship with God, for our privilege as Christians (that we can share the Gospel of Jesus Christ to people outhere), etc. And I feel like, I've been blessed beyond measure that I could have that opportunity to come and pray as one body of Christ. I didn't really understand it fully right now, but I believe, as we prayed yesterday, that if we seek God, if we ask God, that "revelation" will be given to us. Walk by "faith" and not by sight will be real happening in my life. I will be "doers" not only listeners...Amen! =)

But sometimes, I'm still compromising with my commitment. Like today, I am supposed to fast, but yet again, I failed. I ate breakfast, just because my flesh wanted it. While behind all this fasting, I'm praying and trying to know where I am supposed to go, and what I am supposed to do a.k.a my calling. Wonder why? i think this year is a year of change for me. Change from the old me, the past me, to the life that God wants me to be. It's challenging, when you think about it, but yet, when you really into it, when you want to do it, it's really hard to get your focus on track. It's just hard. Temptations are suddenly everywhere, things just don't go the way I planned them, you know..the devil is just trying so hard to pull me down.

But, I don't want to give up. I can't imagine how my life's gonna be without Him. I mean, sometimes, I do think to quit and just live a happy life with no burdensome. As I get to know Him better, I get to know the Law of Christ, get to know which one is good or bad. Doesn't mean I'm obeying it just because of the law. I obey it, because I know, God loved me first, and I can never repay it back. I receive His love, He wants to do something better for me, so, I want to obey it, to see the great thing that God has for me. Not so much for my sake, but for His sake.

I want to know my place in the body of Christ. I want to fully serve Him, not only by coming to church and do my ministry, but to be really involved in God's work. I mean, it's amazing you know, once you see God's movement, you just can't stop to ask for more. It's too amazing to be described, too amazing for ordinary people, or even the greatest magician can ever do. You get to feel something so different when you see God's work. =)

God, I'm sorry for compromising again today. This is the 5 times I compromised..but I pray O Lord, that the next time I'm about to fall, remind me about Your love, Your grace and Your mighty works that You're gonna show to me, so that I might choose You and not my flesh. Amen.