Luke 19:8
"But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, "Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possesions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount."

Paying the price. That is what I learn. As I walk with God, rarely I pay the price. My time, my fleshy desire, especially I'm fasting now. I seldom pay the price. Kind of confused though. I mean, God's love for us is free right? Then, why do we have to pay the price? The price over what? I just don't get it. To serve Him? to follow Him?

v.10
"For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost."

I feel so not in peace right now. I don't know whether this is because of the coffee I drank or something else. I just don't feel right.

God, why do I feel like we're soooo far away? Are we? Where am I standing right now? I don't want people to answer this, I want YOU to answer this. You are real! So many things that I worry about. You are my Shepherd, yes, You remind me this. I should not worry, because You will guide me and lead me there. Seeing myself right now, I am sooooooo...desperate.

I don't know why when he came to my apt just now, he looked so sad and tired and he didn't talk much. Was it my fault again, God? God, I just want answers. I have so many questions and I just want answers. I want You. You are my answer. In everything, when You touch me, circumstances fade away. =) I want to fell Your touch.

Hey, this is not just a blog. You said You're not limited right? Then, I can pray through this, right? Jesus, where are You? Who am I talking to? Myself? I want You.

Religiosity sucks.

It may seem so impossible. God loves me all the way though! He loves me no matter what. No matter what. His love is limitless, from everlasting to everlasting. I think, the best thing to do when we are down is to worship God for who He is. Worshipping God will make my heart, my soul better, much better. He is good always. He is true and everlasting. He is REAL. He is a life-force. He always progresses. He never condemns. He is LOVE.

Jesus, You are indescribable. Words are not beautiful enough, they can't compare to what You did and are going to do in my life. I believe that the spirit You gave to me is not a spirit of condemnation, NOT a spirit of rejection, NOT a spirit to be ashamed. But what YOU give is a spirit of HOPE, spirit of JOY, spirit of POWER, spirit of TRUSTING!!

I believe, like a child believes, because You never lie. to You, I can trust. Amen!! Let whatever things that I said, be done!!!!! In the name of Jesus!! I have Your power, Lord!!! Amen!!! The devil dies, they suck. =) They don't have any authority over me because You have died on the cross to save my soul!! Amen!! Thank You, Lord!! You are battling in replace of me. Jesus, You are powerful. You are gentle.

I want to live in LOVE and POWER. No longer in fear. You are a loving God. Amin!! Thank You for the boldness!! Be REAL.

-ica-