Hmm..so many things going on around me...changes..dont knoe whether this is going to a good or bad direction..have no idea..well..

she started to act very strangely lately..is it me?? or is it her? cant she just tell me whats going on? hmmm...

I almost cant stand it rite now..like I miss my mom suddenly like crazy...

just to think about it..my problem is not as big as the other's..but why do I feel like it's so depressing..I should not be like this..but I really want to cry...on the other hand..theres a voice saying that i cant cry since it seems like whatever's happening is due to my fault.

am I the one who's seperating myself from them?? Or is it them seperating themselves frm me? I know im not supposed to think this way..anyway...dont like this...but...dont know what to do...

am i...by moving to another house ...leaving her...betraying her...for all the things she's done...am i...by cutting off...betraying him...turning my back towards him??

i need my mom..need someone whose arms and love can protect me..i know that You are there..but how are You gonna be so real comforting me? need someone who can listen to me...listen..just listen...and let me pour out everything..thats all...

im not writing all this down just for people to read this and feel pity about me..in fact, its so hard for me to be seen as a weak figure...but, its just..theres no where to run..or hide..I mean..I knoe God's there...I should pray rite...I need my relationship with You to be so reall..God...

09/27