It's been sooo longggg...>.<

Hmm...skarang jadi ga tau mau ngomong apa..padahal kalo lagi bengong, banyak banget yang mau diomongin..oh well..

anyway..remember one thing...very important..very disturbing..I do feel bad towards a lot of people..especially in the mean time..

First..well, cutting off is the least I want to do. Cutting off is not something that I think would solve the problem. Tho sometimes I do feel like cutting off...but, I always thought that I could bear it, I could hold it, without having to do it. Sadly, it is happening!!

I'm cutting off the relationship with him. There's sumthin in my head that's questioning me always...I don't know the answer...it's like "am I cutting off because I really want to or need to...or is it because I got affected by others??" I have no idea. I assure myself that this is the best thing to do. I feel comfortable with it tho. I mean..I don't know..I can become who I am right now..I am not chained...like....free...hahaha...strange, isn't it? What's going on rite now..no one else would understand..

they might think Im crazy for doing this. they might think that im such a heartless woman who cuts off the relationship while the guy has been so good to me. but, there are times when he...you know, its like when...you're trying to be nice to someone and he takes is wrongly. like, whenever I open up a little space for him..then he's gonna break thru my heart..and that's what i don't like..ok, never mind..even if u read this entry carefully, u wont understand a thing im saying..

i mean, im so fed up with all the bad things happened. all the harsh words, all the cruel actions..well..get too dramatized here, but have no idea of what words suit the best...i mean, those bad things happened not because there's a reason to it!! that's what I dont like!! it's like, just being close to someone else, then he got pissed off...I mean..mann..he's not even my boyfriend...and why should he tell me this?? I'm not being cruel for not wanting to know his stories and such..but,...even when he does tell me that he's jealous and all that...what can I doooo??? what?? should I change my habit or behavior just for him not to be jealous?? no way...*even if..I did...*

eniwei..this is just for the record...so that in the future..when I look back..i'm not completely clueless...hehe..

eniwei..gtg...bye..