Going to SU is not what I want, obviously. I dont want to be there, dont want to be in a same place as he is. dont want to be seen as one in path. Im denying that im in the same path as he is. denying the fact that i will be in the same unversity as he is. dont want to.

i always pray for Your plan to happen in my life, yet, in my heart, i know that i still want the one thats mine. praying yet my action doesnt tell. menganggap remeh. taking it way too easy.

but im still praying for Your other plan to happen..the other...the real one...im hoping that this one isnt the real one, isnt the one You intended for me. >=) stubborn, heh?

so, how do You deal with this kind of person. how do You deal with my stubborness?

resistant. how do You make me see that this path is the best for me? other than just verses or words. other than that. how can You assure me? well, its my free will anyway to take it or not. even if i dont take it, You wont do harmful things to me. You'll still lead me back to Your plan, if in the future I want it.

well, the future is the same as today. its my choice, up to me, whether i want to go that way or no. if i go now, i wont have to circle around, if i dont, i have to. takes more time. takes more.

but, i cant accept the fact that im going that way. that im gonna be in SU. not because SU is a bad school, I have never aimed high before, never wanted to be in UW. Never had planned before which uni to go. now that i want UW, You dont give me. or is it me yg ga terlalu berjuang keras? but i think i did. i dont know. not sure. was it not hard enuf in UR eyes? Im still questioning. stil havent got the answer. still longing for other plans to open. still waiting for You to reveal to me...more than this...

cant I stay in UW????